Blog

I have been super negligent in keeping up with this site. Mostly because I have been working on my next book. Finding the time to build a website, has proven to be quite difficult. However, I have realized that I need to spend time each week writing on this site.

Entering the creative world of being an author has changed me. I view things differently now that I have the confidence to state I am an author. I listen to people’s stories in a different manner. Wondering if there’s something I can take from it and build a story around it.

I read books differently. I truly have a much deeper appreciation for every single word that an author has put on the page. Whereas before I might have skimmed through a “boring” part of the story, now I do not skip ahead at all. I know how much time and effort goes into every damn word we put down.

With that, I find myself taking more time to get through my second book. Part of it is because now I am balancing getting the first book published, trying to establish this site, become more active on social media, reading a lot more and even finding time to take online classes.

But the truth is I am also taking more time because I am enjoying the craft of writing more. The first book I wrote I just had so many ideas in my head and I had to get them out before I forgot them. I was afraid that this author idea was a passing thought in my mind. I needed to run with the little bit of confidence I had while I had it. This time around, I’m not as scared. I am enjoying developing the story more and thus, taking my time with the story.

I am about 75% done with it. I am also fully aware that it may take me another 2-3 months to finish it. I am ok with that. I write that story when I feel as if I have the time to do so. And more importantly, when the ideas come to me. The ideas for the second book have come to me more slowly than the first book. At first this was frustrating to me, but now I have realized that it’s all part of the process.

I’m curious as to what you may think about this? Do you find that some stories come to you faster than others? Do you have a hard time balancing all the different roles that you have to take as an author? How do you find the time to do it all?

Feel free to comment or send me an email to share your thoughts. Jennmctiguebooks@gmail.com.

Happy reading and happy writing!

That is the word to describe my morning today.  I reached a level of frustration that I haven’t felt since before I began this journey of becoming an author.

The last few weeks I have been trying to get my second book going.  I have a great idea and I know what I want to do, but each time I sit down to type I simply can’t get the ideas going.  Over the last week or so, I have felt that I’m forcing the story right now, and that’s not at all what I want to do.  I simply cannot get into a groove with this story and this morning was my breaking point with it.

Last night I spent hours working on various aspects of writing.  I read over parts of my first book and made some slight changes.  I did a few minor updates to this website.  I sat with the second book and scratched out two paragraphs.  It was frustrating and tiresome.  Chris had to listen to me talk about how frustrated I am and he finally convinced me to put it to the side for the night.

This morning I got up nice and early to get some time in before the kids got up and the insanity of motherhood and marriage began.  I opened my 2nd book thinking I was going to build off of what I wrote last night and boy was I wrong.  Instead I read over what I wrote last night and decided I’m drained from this book. I do not like where it is going and how much it is occupying my mind.  I made the decision that this book is getting shelved for now, no pun intended.  Alright, maybe the pun was intended.

The research I have done over the last few months on how to become an author, how to get published, and getting my ideas out there have all repeatedly told me how common it is for authors to work on multiple pieces at once.  Frequently authors will take years to put a story together.  To not get disappointed if it takes a long time to get through a book.  One idea that I read and have found extremely helpful is to keep a journal, notebook, scratch pad, whatever works for you, for each book that you are working on.  I have a notebook that I write in when ideas come to me.  Some are various ideas and some are specific to the story I’m working on.  When I wrote my first book I used the notebook to write one of the most challenging scenes in the book.  I was working out how to get through the challenging scene and writing down different characters and their respective role within the scene and subsequent chapters.  As I was writing about the characters, the scene itself came to me and I wrote it out while it was in my mind.  This was about 3 chapters before that scene was going to take place.  Once I was ready for that point in the book, I had a lot of it written down already and was able to get it into the story with relative ease.

With the second book I started with my notebook and got the book going.  But I have simply hit a wall that I don’t want to push through right now.  The notebook is there for me to add to whenever I want, and the first four chapters are in my chrome book.  Perhaps one day I will go back to it.  Or maybe it is meant to be a part of another story.  Only time will tell.

Once I came to that decision, I decided I would spend what was remaining of my free time working on this site.  I put on some music and I opened up the site to start this very blog.  That is when I discovered that I wasn’t connected to the internet and I had no way of fixing it.  Chris who is not only my husband but also our house I.T. guy, was still sleeping and I didn’t want to bother him. I was frustrated, mad and ready to give up on everything.  I went back to my first book, figuring I would spend some time editing the obvious mistakes.  This led to another frustration when I realized how far away I am from that book getting published in some manner.

I sat there staring at my chrome book with frustration building in me.  I got up early to get work done and 2 hours later I barely made any progress. Doubt started creeping in again about if I could actually do this. The last 4-5 hours that I spent working on writing had been a disaster.  And now I was practically out of time to get anything accomplished.  At the very least I needed to find out why the internet wasn’t working, so you guessed it, Chris got woken up.  Although it wasn’t that bad, it was close to the time for us to get our day started.

Unfortunately, it was not a simple fix, which at least made me feel better that I didn’t wake up him for something that I should have been able to figure out on my own.  But it also meant that I was officially done for the morning while Chris figured out the technical difficulty.

At that point I did what anyone would do…no it’s not pour a drink.  Remember it’s early in the morning and mom mode is about to go into full effect.  If this happened at 8:00 at night when we were in for the night, the drink would have been poured while the problem was occurring!  But it was more like 8:00 in the morning. That’s not the way to start the day! I picked up my phone and texted my friend Tiffany, who is helping me stay sane through this whole process.  Panic mode had officially set in and Tiff once again talked me through it and reminded me that there are going to be setbacks and I have to roll with it.  To keep pushing through everything and to quiet my mind.  Frustrations are a normal part of the process and that I should write about it. Once again she got me through a difficult time. Like I said, she is keeping me sane through this process.

I spent the day with my son at a tennis match, which I found to be very calming and it helped me clear my mind.  I came up with a new plan and on our way home I stopped at the library to request a few books that I need in order to do research and get a better understanding of where I think I should go with my work.  When I finally got home and had time to write I was able to start a new story. This story is clear in my mind and I have a path set out for it.

Frustration is a very normal part of being an author.  But it can’t define you or feed into your fears of writing.  Everyone has the ability to write a story, it’s pushing yourself through the challenges that gets the story across the finish line.  Today I looked past my frustration and turned it into something positive.  I also reminded myself that it’s okay to ask for help.  My friends and family are there to help me and I cannot achieve this on my own.

A few months ago I decided it was time for me to pursue my dream of becoming an author.  The first thing I did once I made up my mind, was research a computer in order for me to write my book.  After a decent amount of research I went with a Samsung Chromebook.  I felt that it provided me with everything I needed to get going and it is very light to carry around with me everywhere I go.   I waited patiently for over a month to get it for Christmas.  My reasoning was I could not possibly find the time to write during the Christmas season, so why not wait? Besides I knew that it would give my mom tremendous joy when she found out that I wanted a Chromebook so I could write a book and that she was the one to give it to me.  When I finally told her I was writing a book, I was 100% right that it added to her happiness that she helped me to achieve my dream.  The reality is throughout my life she has helped me achieve all of my dreams.

The day after Christmas I sat in my house with my brand new Chromebook and I felt like a kid on Christmas morning.  Who am I kidding, this was like being a kid again!  I have wanted to become an author since I was about 10 years old.  So why did it take me over 30 years to pursue my dream?

Confidence.  Or should I say the lack thereof.  My dream as a 10 year old did not last past high school when I started realizing I needed to focus on a career that could make me money.  During high school I would write very short stories, a lot of poems and many ramblings.  It was a way for me to express myself in a safe manner.  As high school started to come to an end I had to start focusing on life and what I wanted to be.  I was always drawn to law and decided I wanted to become a lawyer.  That lasted about one semester and I quickly changed my History major to Business Management.  Why did I go with Business Management and why not pick something related to writing?

Confidence.

Yep, there’s that word again.  I didn’t have the confidence in myself or my writing ability to pursue what I felt drawn to.  Instead I went with something that I knew I could do.  At the time I was a manager at McDonald’s, I knew that I liked managing and that I could do it.  I took the road many of us take, the easy one.  Sure it was met with challenges and it was not at all easy.  But it was easier than figuring out how to become an author.

In fairness to me I was also dealing with my Nana, with whom I was extremely close, getting very sick and needing around the clock care.  When I wasn’t at school I was working one of three jobs that I held.  When I wasn’t doing that, I was helping take care of my Nana.  And at some point in there I was also trying to enjoy my college experience.  I didn’t have the time or energy to write and to take a risk on that dream.  I needed to stay focused and excel at school so that I could get a good job out of college and help continue to take care of my Nana.

Unfortunately, my Nana didn’t live to see me graduate college.  She passed away in my junior year of college.  But my burning desire to succeed continued to grow.  My new found motivation was to make her proud.  Even though I was beyond devastated that I lost my hero, I continued to pursue my safe dream of getting into the business world.  I busted my butt to finish college and to do so with honors.  I became the President of the Business Honor Society and I was determined to succeed in my career.

While in college I also met my future husband, which is a story for another day.  I mention it now because the truth is, it altered my ability to become an author.  Not because Chris wouldn’t support me, let me be clear about that.  Chris is the reason that I am able to take this plunge into writing.  But meeting Chris when I was 20, well it put my life into a different course.  At the time I was selling real estate and I also took a job in telemarketing for a mortgage company.  During that time I was able to enjoy dating Chris and have a post college life similar to what most would probably have in college. This means I did not write and did not try to pursue my desire to become an author.  I was too busy traveling, going out and partying.

There is something else to take note of in my journey. As hard as it is to believe, and as old as it may make me sound, at that time in my life the internet was just starting to develop.  I had a computer with a dial up modem.  The amount of information on the internet was limited.  Simply put, it was much more difficult to obtain information.  There wasn’t a lot of information out there and it took FOREVER to get on to the internet.

After I graduated college, and Chris and I were dating for a year, I knew we were going to get married eventually.  I needed to make sure I got my life together and got a serious job.  In 1999 I took a job as a Loan Processor for a bank.  My real estate and mortgage knowledge, coupled with my business degree and management background gave me everything I needed to get the job.  Very long story cut short, over 18 years later, I am with the same bank but thankfully in a much higher position.  I oversee the credit analysis department and spend my days at the hands and mercy of Corporate America.

As a side note, I actually enjoy aspects of my job.  There are a lot of things about it that I like, but as I started my new decade of life I realized this is not all that I have to give in life.

I married Chris when I was 26, turning 27, and we decided to start a family within a few months of being married. The next year my daughter was born.  Think I had time to write and learn how to become an author with a baby around? Not a chance.  I threw myself into my career, and we decided to have our second child.  There I was with a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.  You know what happens next…no it’s not the third child.  Life simply got in the way.  There were play dates, classes to take them to, soccer games, T-ball games, running all around with them every single weekend, every spare moment I had.  Those of you that have kids know exactly what I am referring to.  That hasn’t changed for me, if anything our weekends are even more hectic as my daughter plays on a travel softball team and I am one of the coaches.  But now that my kids are older, 13 and 9, I actually have more time to focus on me.  They don’t need me as much when we are home, I don’t have to sit with them and watch Dora for the 17th time in one day.  So here I am, ready to write.

Figuring out how to go about this is much easier than it was 20-30 years ago. I spent a little under a month writing my book and it’s not because I have no life and all kinds of free time.  Trust me, my time is extremely limited.  I was able to do it because the story just came to me.  I have read so many interviews with authors over the years where they talk about how a story, a character, a message, whatever it might be just came to them and they were able to formulate a book.  It discouraged me over the years because I felt as if I never had that happen. I never felt a story or had any clue as to how to write a book. This all changed for me when I sat down with my Chromebook the day after Christmas.  It wasn’t that I was much smarter now or that I had some major brainstorm that I missed out on for years.  There was a simple but yet quite complex difference in me, I now had the confidence I needed to write.  I was no longer scared at the thought of writing and I was no longer scared of exposing my feelings into a story.  I was determined to tell this story no matter how exposed and vulnerable it left me.  When the timing was right, the story that I needed to tell came to me.

Writing is my outlet and I am no longer scared to share it with others. I have realized that all of these years that I have been waiting to tell my stories were simply not my time.  It wasn’t so much that I didn’t have the time to write, it was that it wasn’t my time to write.  Now is my time.  I hope you enjoy reading the thoughts and feelings I have to share.

Curious as to what my first book is about? My first venture into book writing is a Young Adult book.  I went with this after a lot of consideration…okay that’s a lie, there wasn’t much of a thought process.  I have had a lot of different pieces of paper crumpled up and tossed to the side over the years.  I always thought I would write a Mystery book first, since that is the genre that I read the most.  The truth is once I was ready to write, my heart took over, and I instantly started writing about a 17-year-old girl. From there, my first book was born.

Right now my book is done and is in the process of being edited.  I have people I love and trust reading through the book and telling me everything I screwed up.  If you are going to pour yourself into a book, you need the people you love to tell you what you did wrong.  I know some of my friends are thinking, what the hell? Why didn’t she ask me to read it and help? The truth is I needed to keep this to a very small group for my own selfish reasons.  It’s not that I don’t trust and love you, but I couldn’t have too many people providing me feedback or my head would have exploded.  Please trust me that it’s better for us that I did it this way.

While my book is being torn apart, challenged, questioned, and hopefully enjoyed by this small group of people, I am working on my website and putting together my second book.  For now though, I have a very raw and unedited description of my first book.  The working title is “All the Choices We Make”. Totally subject to change, because I’ve heard authors should never name their own books.  They are too close to it.  For now, that’s the title I’m going with.  I always like to challenge the norm.

Okay, so here it is my short, unedited and probably filled with tons of mistakes, description of the book…

17-year-old Melissa Taylor has a great high school life.  She’s a star athlete, gets great grades, has the most amazing best friend in the world and has had a few boyfriends over the years.  She’s comfortable in her high school world, hanging out with her group of friends, and is trying to deal with the strong feelings she has started to develop for her friend Logan.  Just when she thinks everything is crumbling around her because Logan asked out another girl, Melissa has a unique and interesting moment with Avery Kane.

Avery is the boy that everyone likes, but he is known to be experienced and only dates older girls.  As Melissa talks to him more, they start hitting it off and their relationship takes a turn.  Avery brings out something in Melissa that she never knew was there, and everything about her is starting to change as she explores this new side of her.

While everything is going great for Melissa, a choice to go to a party winds up being the choice that changes her life forever.  In an instant she is painfully reminded that all the choices she has made, even the routine ones, have brought her to the moment where her world came crashing in.

All the Choices We Make is about true friendship, young love and how every choice we make, whether it’s big or small, has a lasting impact on our life.  How our lives can forever change in an instant.

Hope you found the description interesting! Feel free to email me with any thoughts or suggestions- jennmctiguebooks@gmail.com